Tiptoe Waltz
by WolfBane2
Summary: Sakura's POV after Sasuke leaves. For a true love triangle to exist, the third person must like the first. Unfortunately, Sakura knows she is the second. SasuNaru implied


_"Stories often begin with 'once upon a time', because if they began with 'here and now', we could not bear it." –My December, Suppi-chan's DNAngel fanfic._

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When one person likes another person, and that second person likes a third, many people describe the situation as a love triangle. But they in their so-called wisdom do not remember that a triangle has three sides, and all connect. For it to be a true love triangle, that third person must like the first. That way, it is a unceasing cycle of sorrow. That is the most beautiful kind of liking, is it not?

Before I was officially pronounced a Genin, I used to adore romance novels. Cheesy drugstore paperbacks, dusty library books far past their time, exaggerated accounts from real women about their lovelives, it didn't matter. I liked them all. After the Ninja Academy had let out for the evening, I would race home to beat the approaching sunset and curl beside the heater with a chipped mug of honey tea and my latest paperbound escape. Though I knew most were corny and unrealistic, I couldn't help but think that if these stories had been published, then there _must_ be a grain of truth in them somewhere. Can't you relate to any story if you examine it closely enough? Based on some inexplicable logic, I was convinced that if I followed the guidelines of these ideal romances, my future relationship would be their perfect duplicate. Perfection is always desirable, yes? I'd always obtained perfect grades, and I got the impression that they were sought for by my fellow classmates. So if I could study to get perfect grades in school, why couldn't I study to prepare myself for a perfect relationship? It seemed to make sense at the time.

Note how a few sentences back, I spoke of my future relationship in the singular form, instead of saying "relationships". Why was my view not broader, you ask? Well, I had a particular boy in mind while I was planning our future together. This boy was a classmate of mine in the Ninja Academy, and he was perfection embodied into a physical form. He was the strongest of us all, the fleetest, and his grades matched mine in their flawless nature. Not to mention, he was extremely cute. He really is, even now I can't deny it. There could not possibly be a male that would be a more desirable life mate. How could you argue with perfection?

I was not alone in my observations. There wasn't a girl in our class who didn't eye Sasuke hopefully when we were to be organized into groups for an assignment, and more than once we were sharply reprimanded for being caught staring off into space while repeatedly tracing his name on a desktop with our fingertips. But I was ignorantly certain that if I wished and prayed hard enough, he would eventually meet my eyes with a smile. How I longed to see his smile. But in all the years at the academy that I watched him, he never did smile, even once. It was not until we became Team Seven, and he met…well. There will be plenty of time for that in later paragraphs.

There was, of course, a slightly large hurdle that stubbornly remained in my path to my perfect marriage to Uchiha Sasuke. This was that he'd never even taken a second look at me. On the one or two occasions we were assigned to work together on something for the academy, he would complete his portion of the work and never speak to me in more than a few curt words of instruction. He had a way of seeing straight past people, as though they weren't truly there, or were but simply were not worthy of his attention. Indeed, he always seemed to be focused on something else entirely, even as he finished a test on the common types of throwing weapons or effortlessly accomplished a technique that the rest of us struggled with for days. I wondered occasionally where his thoughts were, but I never asked until we became Team Seven. I wonder if I had asked earlier, if that would have caught his attention. I doubt it, though. Before _him_, Sasuke never seemed intent on anything with another person other than warning them they'd best leave. Immediately.

What did _he _do to deserve it, anyway? I'd never understood Sasuke's reasoning. I mean, come on. _He_ was irritating, a braggart unable to back up his claims, loud, untalented, and every synonym for annoying. I was as near perfection as anyone in our class (other than my prince, of course) could have come. Though I was not very strong, I was intelligent, and many people told me I was pretty. I thought I was pretty. Why did you not like me, Sasuke-kun? Why did you dismiss me without any consideration at all? Why…

But I digress. You do not wish to hear my lament. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, when Team Seven formed. I suppose the first clue to…to this "reaction" of Sasuke's was after our bell trial, when _he_ was strapped to the log as we ate our lunches. _He _was plainly miserable, any five-year-old would have been able to diagnose that. _He_ is incredibly lacking in discretion, that one. Why do I keep saying _he_? Who am I trying to fool? _Naruto_ appeared as if he was going to collapse from starvation. I was disdainful; surely even a boy with such blunt expression of feeling had enough pride to attempt to keep a steady face. But you…you offered him your food. I thought that extremely odd. It did not seem the sort of thing you would normally do. However, my puzzlement was overridden by a sighting of a chance to please you. If I offered my food in place of yours, surely that would make me seem unselfish, and perhaps win your attention at long last? How I hoped so, for in truth I did want the food for myself, I was hungry. I went so far as to feed _him-_Naruto with my own hand, knowing all the while that Kakashi-sensei must be watching from the forest surrounding us. I did it to please you, Sasuke-kun. I did so many things for you.

And then there was the incident with Zabuza and Haku, in the village filled with mist. When you were entrapped within the illusionary room of mirrors, and Naruto recklessly leapt into it to come to your aid (though I suspect he was doing it as much to show off for me as it was for you). Though you could not see Kakashi-sensei and I for the reflections that surrounded you, I could see into the makeshift arena from outside it through the gaps between mirrors. I saw your face when Naruto landed before you, and even in my terror I had to laugh. You looked so surprised, Sasuke-kun. I'd never seen you look so startled before. For the first time, the great Uchiha Sasuke was at a loss for words. Looking back upon it, I find it hilarious, and that's why I'm crying.

But then Naruto fell, and the needles, and the masks…I saw it all. I could not much aid Kakashi-sensei in seeking out Zabuza through the thick cloud of fog that covered the plain we fought upon, so in the end I simply watched you. I've watched you a lot, Sasuke-kun. Even though my face changed as years passed and we progressed through the academy levels, the one thing that always stayed the same were my green eyes, watching you. They are pretty eyes, are they not, Sasuke-kun? I think they are, Naruto said they were, Lee says they are. Why not you, the only one who mattered?

I saw you fall beside him. Defeated because you defended him. Why did you not try to save your own life, as you would have done with anyone else? You stood over him and took the needles meant to lacerate his neck veins. Him. You would not have done that for me. And there was blood, so much blood, your blood…I thought you were dead, and because of that my senses numbed, and then I could think nothing at all. Through distant eyes, I saw Naruto's unbridled rage, and the ghost of a demon that ruled his form for that brief instant before the fire came and blew everything away. _I see you brought the fire. _It was then that I began to suspect that your connection to him was more than that of an assigned teammate.

From then on, I broadened my observations from simply you to _him _and you. When I watched you during our team training sessions, I switched my focus from your awe-worthy skill to _how_ you, as a person, seemed when we were training. When you and Naruto were sparring, or competing to see who could get furthest in mastering a chakra exercise, or to see whose technique could outpower the other's, you looked…happy. I had never seen you look happy before. My experience in Team Seven turned out to be full of surprises. Occasionally, I would catch a glimpse of a smile. It was always a tight smile, full of ferocity and never lasting long, because your lips were not made for smiling. But it was there none the less, to me as bright as the shining crescent moon. I would have cupped it in my hands and breathed it brighter, if I could.

When we battled, you two always fought as wolves, while I would lag behind, the handicap of the group. As I observed more closely, it became apparent to me that your symmetry was intimidating in its naturalness. Naruto would often whimper an invitation for me to join in on the carnage, but more often I cowered behind, for I was afraid. If there was any way that I was alike to you, Sasuke-kun, it was that I too was afraid to die. The difference was that my fear was a physical manifestation that bound my actions, and therefore my efficiency. You two worked together as though the battle was a well-rehearsed play, but without extensive planning or talk beforehand. You always knew what he had in mind, and he you. You rarely had to ask. And I envied _him _for it, for having effortlessly what I had so long desired to have with you. Why did you accept him so readily into your being, when you had never allowed anyone else to come close to you? Why _him?_

For a long time, my sorrow was great, for I realized that I would never be as close to you as Naruto. I could never have you. It is not a thing that can be labeled with elegant words and jagged print, the despair of knowing that the thing you long for will never be yours, never be anywhere near yours. The worst part of it is that a part of me still wants you, even now. Rock Lee courts me frequently, and I have conceded several times and gone with him to walk through Konoha's bountiful park or to eat at the local ramen shop. I should love him. I know I should love him; he is a fine man and obviously cares for me. But love and longing are one another's rippled reflections. That was a line printed on the back of one of Kakashi-sensei's Icha Icha Paradise books. The fact that I am using a line from his preferred "romance" novels is to me slightly disturbing, but I will overlook its source for its truth. All I know now is that you're not here, Sasuke-kun. Why are you not here? You should be here. Naruto is here, so you should be here. I cannot imagine you without him, not you as I have seen you through wistful eyes and observations obtained through hidden perches.

No. I remember now. Naruto isn't here either. Why did he leave, again? Didn't it have something to do with you? Wait…you went away first. I think you did. You left, for the village of silent noise, where darkness falls. Why did you go there? Power, I imagine. Power to kill your brother. I think you might have spoken to me beforehand, on a night when Mars glowed red and the moon was nowhere to be seen, about why you were leaving. I cannot be sure; that might have been a dream, or perhaps it never actually happened and I am dreaming now. I hope so. God I hope so.

It doesn't matter. In this place where I am now, you are gone. Naruto…Naruto tried to stop you. He failed. How could he fail? It isn't possible. You belonged to him. You didn't know it, but you did, or you do. I don't know which tense to use, past or present. Future, perhaps? Or all three? You couldn't have turned away from him. You could have walked away from Konoha, from Kakashi-sensei, even from me. I can believe that. But not him. How did he not bring you back? He promised he would. How could you still be gone?

He's gone, too. Naruto's gone. He went somewhere far away. To train, I believe. We never actually said goodbye to one another, That means he must be coming back, right? You only say goodbye to people that you're never going to see again. Did you say goodbye to Naruto, Sasuke-kun? Please say you didn't. Please.

Even Kakashi-sensei. He must still be in Konoha, but I haven't spoken to him since you left. He seems to have vanished with the wind song. Maybe he was never really there at all. It's possible. Many things are possible. I wonder where he would go to while he made himself late in meeting the three of us. Do you know, Sasuke-kun? Do you know now that you're gone too? Is he there now in the place where he must have visited before? It must be a wonderful place. It better be, to give him a viable excuse for being so late all the time.

So here I am, Sasuke-kun. Here I am, where you aren't. I adored you, you know. I'm not sure if I truly loved you, but I definitely adored you. I would have given anything to be yours. But you didn't want me, did you, Sasuke-kun. You didn't know it yourself, but you wanted a blonde dobe with a heart of gold and a brain with its electricity only coming in short, erratic spurts. And Naruto, he wanted me. Of course I knew, did you really think I didn't? Of course I knew he had a crush on me. But that fact is not of general interest, Sasuke-kun. How I would love to be able to say "My Sasuke-kun", but I cannot. I am many things, but I am not a liar. What matters now, Sasuke-kun, is that now none of us can have what we desire. That is sad, isn't it, Sasuke-kun? Very sad indeed. That's why it's so funny.

Strange, isn't it, how easily the laughter in "funny" can be replaced by scalding tears.

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Author's Note: I've wanted to do a one-shot from Sakura's point of view on the love triangle I firmly believe in for quite some time, and here it is. It annoys me when people say "love triangle" when they really mean "love boomerang" (came up with this term herself). For it to be a real triangle, there has to (unless it's very strange circumstances) be some sort of homosexualimplicationinvolved. Hence my pleasure, because we all know I have an obsession with yaoi. Yay SasuNaru! Anyway…yeah. That's pretty much it. Go review. Yeah, that means you.


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